Q: Do all students have to participate?

How each school chooses to celebrate Schools’ Pride Week is up to them, however most activities are held during breaks and after school and entirely voluntary. We encourage you to check in with your school to see what they have planned if you want to know more.

Q: What if Schools’ Pride Week is against my beliefs/religion?

It’s important to remember that the special character, or foundations of faith, do not absolve schools of their legal and ethical obligations to provide safe and inclusive spaces for tauira. It is important that all schools affirm and celebrate diversity.

Many rainbow people are also people of faith, and everyone deserves to be welcomed with love and safety, regardless of their rainbow identities.

Once again, Schools’ Pride Week activities are typically voluntary for students to choose whether they participate in.

Q: What happens if I keep my child at home?

Students aged 6-16 years old are legally required to attend school every day – a school affirming their support for rainbow communities is not a valid reason for keeping your child home from school.

While we encourage the importance of and participation in Schools’ Pride Week by everyone, activities are generally optional for students to choose whether or not they wish to get involved in.

Schools’ Pride Week does not disrupt your schools usual curriculum or academic programs, but keeping your child home will.

Q: Why are you prioritising rainbow students over everyone else?

Schools’ Pride Week is the recognition and celebration of different sexualities, gender identities and expressions of students and staff in the school community.

This aligns with the New Zealand Curriculum and New Zealand Post Primary Association diversity guidelines, (much like the celebration of Te Wiki o te Reo Māori, NZ Sign Language Week, International Languages Week, Matariki and Lunar New Year).

School’s Pride Week is not about prioritising rainbow students over others, but ensuring they feel affirmed at school as a marginalised population who are often overlooked. There is also an ethical and professional rationale for Schools’ Pride Week:

Q: Why is gender being taught in schools?

Sexuality and health education that includes gender diversity and variations in sex characteristics can benefit everyone’s understanding of bodies, and challenge understandings of ‘normal’ bodies.

The idea that teaching gender ‘confuses’ students reinforces the message that existing outside of the gender binary is somehow bad or harmful, rather than a natural part of human diversity. Trans and intersex people have always existed, but these people’s experiences have historically been excluded from school curricula.

School’s Pride Week is not part of the NZ curriculum, and is optional for schools and students to participate in. We do however strongly support the inclusion of Relationships and Sexuality Education in the curriculum.

Q: Aren’t students too young to learn about gender and sexuality?

As we navigate the world around us, many of us form very rigid ideas about gender and how it is performed. Children might be encouraged to play differently or have particular likes or dislikes based on their gender, and these stereotypes limit all children when it comes to their thoughts, talents and passions.

By 3 years old, most of us will strongly identify with a gender identity, regardless of whether we are cisgender, transgender, or gender non-conforming.

Some tamariki already know they are transgender, or non-binary, or just ‘different somehow’. Others will know later. Either way, introducing young people to the fact that rainbow people exist makes them more likely to accept themselves and others.

One of the biggest misconceptions around gender, sexuality and relationship education is that it is about the act of sex. In reality, it explores topics like sense of self, identity development, how we relate to one another, and the different forms of relationships people can have with themselves and others.

While a 6 year old may not understand terms like “cisgender” or “binary,” they absolutely understand a person’s desire to express their true self, and they explore and learn new things about the world and its people every day.

Q: What if my child decides they are trans because they learn about it during SPWA?

Being trans is not a trend nor a phase. Your child will not choose to be trans because someone they know is.

If your child expresses they are exploring their gender, take their lead and listen to them. Everyone has the right to explore their gender in a safe and open way, and our role at school is to support the student in their personal growth. If this changes again later, that’s okay – what they’ll remember is whether or not you supported them during this time.

We encourage you to ask why you are concerned about your child exploring their gender. What might you be worried about if they are? It might be helpful to talk with your child about their gender, or connect with other parents who are going through the same thing.

Q: Does the school have to tell parents if their child is socially transitioning at school?

No. While the best case scenario is that young people can feel safe to be open about their rainbow identity at home, it’s a young person’s choice when they disclose this to their family or whānau. They are often weighing up safety risks and may be at real risk of experiencing things such as family violence or homelessness if they are out at home. Being respected and affirmed at school in the meantime can have an immensely positive effect on their wellbeing.

Any move by a school to out a child without their consent would be a breach of their privacy. This includes ‘outing’ them to other students’ families, such as when going on a school overnight trip.

Under the Privacy Act 2020, personal information about a student cannot be disclosed by a school (with a few exceptions, which are highly unlikely in situations regarding respecting rainbow students’ privacy).

Q: My child is questioning their idenity. where can I get some support as a parent/caregiver?

Be There is a website and awareness campaign that aims to support the parents and whānau of trans, non-binary, takatāpui, queer, intersex, and rainbow young people to be more inclusive, affirming and safe. Their main focus points are:

• Show unconditional love
• You don’t need to get it, just be there
• You are not alone
• Use validating language
• Expect others in your whanau to treat your child with respect.
• Help your child access community

InsideOUT has a wonderful resource called Storm Clouds and Rainbows – The Journey of Parenting a Transgender Child which offers insights from a parent perspective on how best to support a transgender child.

This resource is based on international research and interviews with parents in Aotearoa from different social and cultural backgrounds, who were asked to reflect on their experience of raising a transgender child.

Q: How can I support Schools’ Pride Week in my child’s school?

The best thing to do is to talk to your child about the importance of pride and answer any of their questions. You could also contact the school and ask if they need any volunteers for any events they may be running, or make a donation to any fundraising efforts they are doing.

Simply contacting your school to let them know you appreciate them taking part in Schools’ Pride Week is another way to show support and encouragement at a time when many schools are receiving backlash for affirming their rainbow students and families.

Q: How can I support relationships and sexuality education in my child’s school?

The best thing you can do is take part in the board discussions around what is to be taught. Join the board or parent committee, encourage other parents to join and have a voice in the decisions made. Emphasise the importance of RSE for all students to learn about different relationships, sexuality and gender. Send letters of support for RSE and inclusive education to your local MPs.